What if I told you that a fulfilling, Christ-centered marriage is not only possible but achievable, even in today’s chaotic world? Sounds like a tall order, right? Well, I recently sat down with Makii and AyaMakii, a dynamic couple who’ve been married for 15 years, for my Building Bridges series. Their insights blew me away—and I’m betting they’ll inspire you too.
In this post, I’m breaking down 7 actionable secrets from their masterclass on building a thriving marriage. Whether you’re married, engaged, or single and dreaming of “I do,” these tips will help you create a relationship that glorifies God and stands the test of time. Let’s dive in!
Why a Christ-Centered Marriage Matters in 2025
With divorce rates near 50% and social media painting marriage as a lost cause, it’s easy to feel skeptical. But Makii and AyaMakii prove you can defy the odds. As a tech leader and public policy expert, they balance demanding careers, run a kickboxing studio, and raise kids—all while keeping Jesus at the core. Their marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s “perfectly imperfect,” as AyaMakii puts it. Ready to steal their secrets? Here we go!
Secret #1: Make Jesus the Core of Your Marriage
Makii and AyaMakii live by the song Jesus at the Center of It All. Life throws curveballs—financial hiccups, career stress, or even spats about sweatpants (yep, they’ve been there). With Jesus as their anchor, no storm can sink them.
How to Do It:
- Pray Together Daily: Kick off your day with a 5-minute prayer to align with God and each other.
- Base Decisions on Faith: When conflicts arise, ask, “What does the Bible say?”
- See Your Spouse Through God’s Eyes: Frustrated? Reflect on God’s love for them.
Quick Win: Set a daily prayer reminder to stay connected.
Secret #2: Embrace Imperfection (It’s Okay to Be Messy)
No marriage is flawless. AyaMakii’s phrase “perfectly imperfect” nails it. They’ve clashed over Makii’s sweatpants obsession versus AyaMakii’s suit preference, but they laugh, compromise, and grow closer.
How to Do It:
- Listen to Understand: Focus on connection, not winning arguments.
- Celebrate Small Compromises: AyaMakii once approved Makii’s stylish sweatpants—small wins build trust.
- Ditch Hollywood Fantasies: Real love is raw, messy, and beautiful.
Stat: A 2023 study shows active listening cuts couple conflicts by 40%. Ear on, ego off.
Secret #3: Communicate Like Your Marriage Depends on It
AyaMakii, a lawyer, says, “Communicate to understand, not to argue.” Their funniest moment? Forgetting dinner plans on their wedding night and landing at McDonald’s at 1 a.m. They laughed it off and teamed up, proving communication is everything.
How to Do It:
- Tackle Tough Topics Early: Discuss money, kids, or careers openly.
- Be Transparent About Finances: No secret accounts—transparency builds trust.
- Use “I Feel” Statements: Say, “I feel ignored when…” instead of “You always…”
Hack: Schedule a weekly 15-minute “marriage check-in.” Track goals in a shared Google Doc.
Secret #4: Love Plus Trust Equals Submission
Submission gets a bad rap, but Makii and AyaMakii see it as partnership. Makii asks, “Are you treating your spouse the way God treats you?” AyaMakii says submission doesn’t dim her voice—it strengthens their bond.
How to Do It:
- Husbands, Lead with Sacrifice: Ephesians 5 calls for Christ-like, selfless love.
- Wives, Trust Boldly: Submission is strength, not silence.
- Pray for Clarity: Confused? Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.
Pro Tip: Seek scripture-based resources on biblical submission for clarity.
Secret #5: Chase a Shared Vision and Purpose
In a “me-first” world, Makii and AyaMakii prioritize us. AyaMakii credits Makii for supporting her career while staying purpose-driven. Titi Akinsanmi credits her husband as being an enabker, purpose fulfilling partner and mutual encouragement. Makii defines success by God’s Word, not worldly metrics.
How to Do It:
- Write a Marriage Mission: Define your shared purpose and revisit it yearly.
- Support Each Other’s Dreams: Lift each other’s callings equally.
- Focus on Eternity: Faith, family, and legacy trump temporary wins.
Stat: Couples with shared goals are 32% happier, per a 2024 Gottman study.
Secret #6: Forgive Before They Apologize
Makii’s biggest lesson? “Marriage is two forgivers living together.” God forgave us before we sinned, so forgive your spouse—even without an “I’m sorry.” AyaMakii chooses love over hurt daily.
How to Do It:
- Offer Grace First: Assume they’ll mess up (they’re human) and choose forgiveness.
- Pause Before Reacting: Reflect on their good qualities to stay calm.
- Own Your Growth: Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
Quick Win: Journal one way your spouse showed love. Read it during conflicts to reset.
Secret #7: Stay Intentional About Connection
Makii and AyaMakii run a gym, serve at church, and even relax at a Nordic spa together (Makii’s hooked!). They stay connected, even after arguments, by sharing a bed and refusing distance.
How to Do It:
- Find a Shared Passion: Bond over a hobby or ministry.
- Keep It Simple: Grab coffee, pray, or watch a show together.
- Own Your Mornings: A warm “good morning” sets the day right.
Data: Couples spending 10+ hours weekly together are 25% happier (2023 Journal of Marriage and Family).
Bonus for Singles: You’re Already Whole
AyaMakii’s advice to singles? “You’re complete in yourself, not a spouse.” A partner complements you as the scripture says “One will chase a thousand and Two ten thousands” Makii adds: Trust God with your future.
Action Step: Write down your purpose and lean into God’s timing.
Your Next Steps to a Stronger Marriage
Makii and AyaMakii’s 15-year journey proves marriage is worth the work. It’s not a fairytale—it’s a daily choice to love, forgive, and grow. As AyaMakii says, “It’s sweet to be married.”
What to Do Now:
- Married? Have an honest money talk or schedule a prayer date.
- Single? Define your God-given purpose and trust His plan.
- Everyone? Share this post with someone who needs a boost!
Let’s build marriages that glorify God and stand strong. Drop a comment: Which secret will you try first?
Got a marriage tip that’s worked for you? Send it to us here—I’d love to hear it. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel here for more insights to help you build a legacy of love.
