In a world where social media amplifies broken marriages and fleeting trends, Pastors Damilola and Bukola Bekes stand as a beacon of hope, proving that a fulfilling, God-centered marriage is not just possible—it’s a divine gift. In a heartfelt YouTube conversation hosted by a passionate advocate for godly unions, this anointed couple, married for 19 years, shared their journey of living what they call “the Eden life.” As ministers, musicians, and mentors under Paradise Music Global, their story weaves together faith, vulnerability, and practical wisdom. Here’s how their insights can transform your marriage—or prepare you for one—into a vibrant, purpose-driven partnership.
The Foundation of Faith: God as the Orchestrator
At the heart of the Bekes’ marriage is an unshakable truth: God is the foundation. Pastor Damilola, a skilled saxophonist, and Bukola, a powerful gospel singer, emphasize that their union thrives because it was orchestrated by God. Damilola recalls, “I had my plans, she had her plans, but God’s faithfulness ensured we didn’t miss it.” Their story began with divine alignment—Bukola knew Damilola was her husband before he did, waiting patiently through prayer for him to hear God’s voice.
For singles, their advice is clear: Hear from God and wait. Bukola shares a poignant moment when Damilola, unaware of her divine confirmation, mentioned another potential partner. Instead of forcing her revelation, she prayed, trusting God’s timing. “The vision is for an appointed time,” she says, quoting Habakkuk 2:3. “Wait for it—it will surely come.” This patience led to their union in 2006, a testament to trusting God over emotions or societal pressure.
Action Step for Singles: Write down your vision for marriage as God reveals it. Pray over it daily, trusting His timing. For couples, reflect: Is God truly the foundation of your decisions, or are you leaning on your own plans?
The Power of “We” Over “I”
One striking theme in the Bekes’ story is their commitment to oneness. “There’s no self in this marriage,” Damilola declares, a principle that eliminates competition. Early in their marriage, they faced a choice: pursue individual musical careers or synergize as a team. God directed them to unite their ministries, blending Yoruba rhythms, gospel, and jazz into a powerful force for worship. This decision wasn’t without sacrifice—Damilola stepped back to amplify Bukola’s voice, knowing “her success is our success.”
Their “we did it” moments—like producing Bukola’s first album and hosting their inaugural Worship Experience in Muzon—highlight the fruit of unity. Bukola recalls the Worship Experience: “We didn’t follow the crowd. God led us, and despite arguments, we settled it before bed.” Their rule? Never sleep on anger, ensuring conflicts don’t fester.
Action Step: Identify one area where you prioritize “I” over “we.” Discuss with your spouse how to make it a shared goal. Try their “no anger to bed” rule for a week and journal the impact.
Navigating Conflict with Covenant
Conflict is inevitable, but the Bekes show it’s navigable with God at the center. A major challenge came when deciding to relocate their children, requiring one parent to stay behind. Damilola chose to support Bukola’s ministry, sacrificing his own visibility. “If we weren’t in God’s will, it would’ve buried us,” he admits. Their secret? Leaning on the Holy Spirit during fiery trials, trusting the “light at the end of the tunnel.”
Another lesson came from a costly mistake. Damilola once gave 6,000 rand to a stranger for a passport, against Bukola’s caution, and lost it. This taught him to heed Amos 3:3: “Can two walk together unless they agree?” Now, they reason together, ensuring mutual alignment in decisions, from giving to ministry moves.
Action Step: When facing a tough decision, pause and pray together. Ask, “Are we in agreement?” If not, wait on God for clarity, using scripture as your guide.
The Surprise of Oneness: Embracing Each Other’s Uniqueness
Marriage reveals surprises that God uses for good. Bukola, from the classical Redeemed Christian Church of God, assumed Damilola, from the model branch, preferred a flashier style. She experimented with earrings and makeup, only for him to say, “I love you as you are.” This affirmation freed her to embrace her authentic self, deepening their bond.
Damilola learned to let go of personal boundaries, like guarding his towel or toothbrush. Bukola’s gentle insistence on oneness—“Your nose is my nose!”—shifted his mindset from individualism to unity. These surprises became strengths, proving that God uses differences to refine us.
Action Step: Share one unexpected trait you’ve discovered in your spouse. Discuss how it’s enriched your marriage, and thank God for it together.
Decision-Making as a Team: Trusting God’s Voice
A viewer asked how to navigate decisions when one spouse hears God differently, especially in giving. Bukola, the “spender,” and Damilola, the “saver,” have faced this. When God prompted them to donate equipment or land, Bukola initially hesitated but trusted Damilola’s leading, having seen God’s faithfulness in past sacrifices. “God doesn’t always repay in money,” she notes. “Sometimes it’s protection, restoration, or peace.”
Damilola emphasizes mutual submission. When Bukola resisted a decision, he learned to listen, avoiding past mistakes. Their pattern? If one hears “God says,” the other trusts, praying for confirmation. This covenant mindset ensures unity, even in uncertainty.
Action Step: For a current decision, pray together, asking God to align your hearts. If one feels strongly led, the other commits to pray for confirmation within a set time (e.g., a week).
A Word to Singles and Couples
As they closed, the Bekes offered timeless wisdom. For singles: “Don’t follow social media glitter. Hear God, wait, and trust His will.” For couples: “Sit down, count the cost, and find what works for you with God at the center.” They stress that marriage requires maturity—spiritual, emotional, and relational—as Matthew 19:11 suggests. Without God, the author of marriage, it’s a shaky venture.
Their journey, from Bukola’s patient waiting to Damilola’s visa denials redirecting him to God’s plan, underscores one truth: Marriage is a multiplier. Done God’s way, it makes you better together. Their 19 years of laughter, tears, and worship prove that the Eden life—rooted in faith, unity, and covenant—is worth pursuing.
Your Next Step
Ready to live the Eden life? Start with one action from above, whether it’s praying over your vision, prioritizing “we,” or settling conflicts before bed. Share your commitment in the comments, and check out the Bekes’ music and ministry on their YouTube channel for inspiration. Let’s build marriages that glorify God and defy the world’s narrative.
With gratitu.de to Pastors Damilola and Bukola Bekes for sharing their authentic, faith-filled journey.